


Dark Knight

by ProtoNeoRomantic



Series: Patch Works [40]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Comic Book References, Dark Past, F/M, Mystery, Overhearing Conversation, Post-Divorce, bad breakup, bitter Buffy, clueless Riley, jealous Xander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoNeoRomantic/pseuds/ProtoNeoRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riley wants to better understand why Buffy is the way she is.  Fortunately her 'friend' Xander is there to explain who's to blame and what can't be done about it.  Isn't he helpful!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark Knight

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Whose Line is it Anyway?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120551) by [ProtoNeoRomantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoNeoRomantic/pseuds/ProtoNeoRomantic). 



“What about that guy? The... ex-husband guy,” Riley persisted. The pure and innocent belief that if he could just understand what was going on with Buffy he'd be able to change everything that kept her from falling happily into his arms was written all over his big collegey beefcake face.

“Buffy's ex?” Xander hardly knew where to begin, not that any amount of explanation could ever convince this optimistic idiot what he was up against. “Complete headcase,” he said finally, substituting the truth for useful information and okay, partly just saying things that he'd been saving up to say to _somebody_ for a long, long time, “only... all buttoned down so it doesn't exactly show. I mean, poor guy, his daddy issues have daddy issues and his mommy issues would make Norman Bates cry. He's like a walking collection of bangups and hangups all held together with duty and honor and that stiff upper lip thing that they learn at the other kind of 'public school'. And it's like, you wanna feel sorry for him, but he's just really messed Buffy up, it just makes you wanna...”

“Punch him on the nose,” Riley supplied a little too definitely.

Xander laughed and shook his head. “Yeah,” he countered sarcastically, “just as soon as you want your ass handed to you in neat, evenly sized pieces.”

Riley laughed much too lightly. “Yeah,” he said, “somehow I think I could handle a... what was it Willow called him... a 'Research Ninja' in full battle tweed.”

Xander shook his head and looked at Riley seriously, warningly. “Don't under estimate Giles just because he's all stiff and brainy,” he advised. “He's like... like Alfred. I mean he may seem like just this stuffy old British bow-tie-wearing butler guy, but really he's this stuffy old British baddass soldier of fortune guy.”

Riley looked skeptical, puzzled and maybe just a little horrified. “Willow did say he was older... but...” he mumbled. “Anyway,” he tried again, pushing his stubborn optomism back to the surface, still fishing for that so-not-happening clarification that he was reading all of this wrong and there was really something simple and fixable here, “What girl would want to marry Alfred?”

The hardness of Buffy's voice startled them both and made them look up at her, standing on the darkened stairs, eyes hooded in shadow. “One who thinks she's Batman.”

 


End file.
